11.13.2009

NSFW Special Friday the 13th Links

These links get worse and worse as you go down the list.
NSFW = NOT SAFE FOR WORK
Pretty much none of these are!

Hot.Boots - a website for men who like boots

Larry, the webmaster of Hot.Boots


Fleshlight The Fleshlight was designed by former police officer (and SWAT team member) Steven A. Shubin who was going through forced abstinence while his wife was in a high-risk pregnancy. He was granted a patent in 1998 for his invention, as a "device for discreet sperm collection".

CONFUSING FLESHLIGHT VIDEO GAME? (nsfw)

Depressing Fleshlight Review from a man with a collostamy bag

Tricked Into A Nightmare!

11.05.2009

Mediocre Links

Wouldn't It Be Nice If We Were Bolder...


Hello! I am back for only a short moment to let you know about something really kEwL!
My cerebral palsy Dan Meth made this super special Beach Boys Black Flag shirt above.
It is so on point and really helps me achieve the dreams represented in this blog post so much without compromising my hatred for loud noises!

ORDER YOURS HERE! I AM A WOMEN'S SIZE LARGE.
HEY IT'S THE WINTER! I STORE FAT, OKAY?

10.31.2009

Me Hosting Tom Tom Magazine Benefit Show



Tom Tom is a magazine about female drummers,, I want to see a baby play the drums right now. So sue me! This video is awkward. What else is new!?
I also want to go to the movies.

MORE QUALITY BLOGPOSTS COMING SOON! (WHO CARES?!)

10.22.2009

Abandoned Island!



There is an abandoned island called North Brother Island which is right near New York City!
I really want to go visit it. How spooky and special. Anyone have a boat?
You can see all sorts of abandoned buildings on WebUrbanist.com.
If I could spend a month visiting abandoned places, I would!

10.14.2009

Dreams Come True!

I just woke up from a dream about a mysterious elderly Asian woman's head in a white bonnet on little feet walking around. Just her head was on feet! There was no body! I followed her around a few blocks of a city and she was looking to buy DVDs on a blanket! Nobody seemed to care! What does this mean? Why isn't my waking life this exciting?!?!

OR MAYBE IT IS...

IF YOU READ THIS BLOG POST ABOUT RIFF RAFF, YOU UNDERSTAND.
BUT THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!! TOO SOON!
should i give him my phone number?! Quick!

10.11.2009

SO BORING


SO MUCH FOR MY CYBERING ROMANCE TIME

DEAR THREE BLOG READERS,

IM SORRY MY BLOG HAS BEEN SO BORING RECENTLY.I HAVE BEEN SO CRAZED WITH MY JEW-ELRY LINE, IT HAS TURNED INTO A REAL THING INVOLVING MANUFACTURERS AND EVERYTHING! IT IS WEIRD. AND EXCITING.
AND I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH CAREER GROWING PAINS WITH IT BUT IT'S THE LESSER OF 2 EVILS! IT'S BETTER TO GROW THAN SHRINK! (especially in a pool wearing ed hardy bathing suit?)

BUT I WILL BE BACK TO BLOGGING OR WHATEVER THIS THING IS VERY VERY SOON. STAY TUNED FOR SOME ANTICLIMACTIC UPDATES AND MAYBE ONE OR 2 SEMI-INTERESTING THINGS. AND SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE INVOLVING EELS.
(ERR, EMAIL ME IF U WANT TO SEE IT..I CAN'T EVEN PUT IT UP, IT'S THAT GROSS...)

LOVE,
CARLEN

10.09.2009

Welcome to Greenpoint


Here is the Petland Discounts near my house...and some special people. (Click to zoom)
I just got a new camera (Powershot SD1200 IS, not that I know anything about photography...)

9.30.2009

D.I.Y. TIL I D.I.E.


I moved on Saturday. I have my own jew-elry office attached to my bedroom and everything.
I am still decorating so maybe one day I can end up having my apartment on TheSeIBY.com and forget to flush the toilet when he gets here?! Imagine if he was homeless? Wouldn't that be perfect? In related news, I really want to start a rival website to Refinery29 called Refinery28 and just have performance fleece from Old Navy.

The point of this blogpost is that i want to decorate super neat, like a kewl rational young person who has refined yet eccentric taste and exercises without complaining! like someone who never cries! and carries French bread in a totebag while they ride a bike! And doesn't get constipated from French bread!

The more specific point of this blogpost is that I want to do my own "d.i.y. butterfly-type display" made out of old maps like this person did but instead of butterflies, i want to do menorahs and dreidels and cut them out of NY subway maps. is this super cheesy?
i bet i could do this super cheaply... is this a good idea or a bad idea? who knows!

9.28.2009

Catman Returns


Look! I found a photo of "Catman" the "break-out star" of the little video (which seems totally outdated by the Justice song i chose to use) that I made 2 summers ago.

Catman asked me out last week in the 34th street station!
He was actually really suave and said "He'd like to see me again..."
IF THE BOX IS AROCKIN, DON'T COME A KNOCKIN
unless u have a sandwich